by Carol Easton
In the quest for happiness, modern psychology and neuroscience are teaching us that true well-being isn’t about fleeting pleasure — it’s about deep emotional healing, genuine connection, and intentional practices that shape the way we experience life.
For people seeking happiness, unresolved trauma or emotional pain can sabotage joy, connection, and resilience. EMDR doesn’t create happiness directly, but it can remove the emotional barriers — like anxiety, fear, or old wounds — that get in the way of feeling genuinely content and connected.
Once these emotional blockages are addressed, people often report more presence, more ease in relationships, and a greater capacity to engage with life fully — all essential ingredients to well-being.
Psychological research suggests that happiness isn’t a single thing — it’s a blend of connection, purpose, growth, and emotional health.
Dr Arthur C. Brooks, professor and author widely known for exploring the science of happiness, highlights that happiness is less about material success and more about relationships, meaning, and purposeful engagement in life. His work emphasizes that humans are wired for connection — and that thriving relationships, meaningful work, and service to others play a central role in flourishing.
Brooks also points out the biological reality that oxytocin — a hormone linked to bonding — is stimulated by eye contact and physical connection, reminding us that happiness is not just psychological but deeply biological.
You can produce more oxytocin naturally through positive social interaction (hugging, cuddling, eye contact, helping others), pleasurable activities (exercise, listening to music, petting animals, laughing, sex), relaxation (deep breathing, warm baths, yoga), and even certain nutrients like Vitamin C, all boosting the “love hormone” linked to bonding and reduced stress.
Neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak has been one of the most influential voices in understanding oxytocin in human behaviour. His book The Moral Molecule and subsequent work explore how oxytocin isn’t just about fleeting feelings — it’s tied to trust, empathy, generosity, and the deep bonds that make life worth living.
From Zak’s perspective, happiness flows from trusting, connected relationships, openness, and shared human experiences — all of which strengthen resilience and contribute to a meaningful, fulfilling life.
While happiness is a multifaceted pursuit, one simple, evidence-backed practice is physical affection and social closeness. Research shows that affectionate touch is linked with mood improvements and higher subjective happiness, likely due to oxytocin release and reduced stress responses.
Scientific studies even find that on days with interpersonal stress, receiving a hug correlates with fewer negative emotions and more positive mood overall — a reminder that connection is not optional for well-being, it’s foundational.
So, how do we practically weave EMDR and happiness science into life?
Trauma, unresolved emotional pain, or old negative self-beliefs can block joy. EMDR is a powerful tool for processing those wounds so you can show up more fully in your life.
Happiness is relational. Build and maintain deep, reciprocal relationships — with friends, family, community — that give you meaning and belonging. Practice eye contact, shared experiences, and yes, physical closeness where appropriate.
Do things that matter to you — ways that express your values and curiosity. Purpose fuels a sense of fulfilment beyond momentary pleasure.
Gratitude journaling, acts of kindness, mindful moments, or simply taking walks with loved ones — small daily habits compound over time into sustained well-being.
Happiness isn’t an elusive state achieved by luck or chance — it’s a science- informed journey. Combining therapeutic healing like EMDR with the rich insights from wellbeing researchers such as Dr Arthur C. Brooks and Paul J. Zak, we see that joy is rooted in healing, connection, biology, and intentional living.
Real happiness grows where emotional healing meets meaningful human connection — and that’s a beautiful path worth walking.